Feeling so alone

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Fairybear89
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2021 6:12 pm

Feeling so alone

Post by Fairybear89 »

My partner had been detoxing from pregablin and diazepam and many other illegal drugs and alcohol, with his friend who lives in the countryside. Having lived with him for years and years and now having minimal contact, is really making me feel alone. Sometimes the messages he sends me are very loving, and other times he pushes me away. I understand this is a process, but it’s so difficult.
holli414
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2021 2:41 pm

Re: Feeling so alone

Post by holli414 »

You're bound to feel alone. After years of my son using he finally went to rehab. It felt so strange to not hear from him constantly.
Maybe write him a letter telling him of your worries.
He also is bound to feel up and down with his mood.
Just keep positive and try to enjoy your free time and take 1 day at a time.
Have you thought about joining a zoom meeting because that is a good way to talk about everything too.
Fairybear89
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2021 6:12 pm

Re: Feeling so alone

Post by Fairybear89 »

I have sent the local group leader a message and I am waiting for a reply so I can join a meeting for support.
I was thinking of writing a letter but I didn’t know if it would stress him out more and cause him lore shame and upset?
I am a nanny, so I’m just trying to throw myself into my work and take the children into the woods and try to be mindful as much as I can, but it’s so hard to talk about with anyone who hasn’t been through it themselves.
That’s why I’ve joined this forum and also sent the message to join a group. Hopefully I get a reply soon to join the meeting!
LM66
Posts: 1252
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:04 am

Re: Feeling so alone

Post by LM66 »

Hi FB
I think it's only natural that you miss your partner being home.
I would agree with Holli, and suggest that you take the time to look after yourself. Your partner will be learning to deal with life again, without the use of drugs, so his emotions will be all over the place.
Keep busy, as I'm sure you will be in your job, but remember to be kind to yourself too.
I hope you stick around the forum as sometimes sharing how we feel, lessens the load somewhat.
One day at a time, and try not to future trip.
Much Love
L x
lesleerose
Posts: 82
Joined: Tue May 05, 2020 5:38 pm

Re: Feeling so alone

Post by lesleerose »

Hello FB
I understand completely try and remember your husband is going through extreme withdrawals and isn’t functioning properly and you are also detoxing emotionally.... This is where this Amazing fellowship famanon comes into full power we are here to see you through not see through you .... keep posting on here and miracles happen I speak for myself my miracle at the moment is that I have great peace and although your situation may not change you will
Bless you
Lesleyrose
Fairybear89
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2021 6:12 pm

Re: Feeling so alone

Post by Fairybear89 »

Thank you so much for your replies.
I hadn’t thought about the fact that I am emotionally detoxing too. I’ve been trying to have early nights and eat well and stay hydrated, focus on work and to focus on myself, but it’s so tricky.
I hope you are all feeling ok today x
Poetry
Posts: 484
Joined: Fri May 11, 2018 1:59 am

Re: Feeling so alone

Post by Poetry »

Hello Fairy Bear, and welcome. This forum is for us. Our addicts are kind of secondary, and need to seek the help which they can access (as your partner is doing) the help on offer.

It takes a while, when we have been so used to supporting (or going through the abuse which some addicts level at us) to see that WE are important. WE have lives. WE have to survive.

I hope that you feel able to post how you are getting on. Some of us have been on here for quite a few years and we have found this forum has made all the difference. EVERYONE on here understands the peculiar loneliness which being the partner or parent or sibling of an addict brings. P.
Tired
Posts: 59
Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2020 4:19 pm

Re: Feeling so alone

Post by Tired »

Evening fairybear 89

Welcome. This forum was a life saver for me, so, agree with Poetry, the addict is secondary . WE are first. It isn't easy I know. I still go over in my head (far less though), why I stood by my ex for so many years, when I knew deep down he was being manipulative, mean,and plain selfish. I have learnt so much on here, and, like others have said, feel safe coming on here.

Take care of you. X
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