coke abuse - nasal damage

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Lost&Broken
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:34 pm

coke abuse - nasal damage

Post by Lost&Broken »

My husband's cocaine addiction has been bad for as far as a know about 18 months now ... He gets very bad nose bleeds and congestion ... Sorry this is a hit gross but some times he falls asleep and I have t literally mop away heaps of mucus as he's almost snorting back up into his airways ... Last year he was diagnosed with pneumonia and I'm.sjre his cocaine habit was the culprit...

...anyone know how long he may go on for like this before he is hospitalised , or worse, dead ? I know he dices with death each time be uses as there are also the risks of heart attack , overdose etc.. but the long term health effects seem to be taking their toll now ....
Such an evil drug I feel he has more or less thrown his whole life away
gloria1953
Posts: 865
Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2015 9:47 am

Re: coke abuse - nasal damage

Post by gloria1953 »

I am so sorry to hear this - cocaine is an evil drug that for some reason is socially acceptable. You don't say if you have children but if you do he is harming them beyond belief.

There is no easy answer to your question. I used to work in the music business where coke was de rigeur. Many of the heavy users I knew (all men) died in their 50's long after they stopped as their hearts were so weakened. Others have gone on for years. My son was recently hospitalised after contracting endocarditis (an infection of the heart) due to shooting up cocaine. Snorting it no longer did it for him. He was a few days away from death when admitted.

I am sorry to frighten you but there is absolutely no use in sugar coating this. Your husband has to realise that he has a problem before he can do anything about it. I know of many success stories so don't lose hope but he must come to the conclusion that he has a problem - he must do this himself. But he can come back from this.

In the meantime you must seek to take care of yourself and your children if you have any. Please check out some of the literature on this site and of course we here on the forum are always here to lend support to one another.
Lost&Broken
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:34 pm

Re: coke abuse - nasal damage

Post by Lost&Broken »

Hello Gloria thanks for your reply.

Thankfully I do not have children - so sad to say that as I always wanted them but it was perhaps a massive blessing out attempts failed

He fully accepts he has an issue , theres no way he can hide it due to the level of debt he is in and the damage to his nose ..but he refuses to get help saying it would end his career.. we've been round and round and round in circles about it now for over 18 months .

I'm.tired. you're right , I need to focus on self care right now ...I left him earlier this year for the mess he has got into
.. he swore he was gonna get help and change.... Instead he is now ripping off good friends taking them for a ride borrowing money as he can't borrow from anywhere else including me or my family. I'm tired of all of it and tires of holding up the house hold and bills all alone and in return all j get his is nasty verbal and emotional abuse from him
gloria1953
Posts: 865
Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2015 9:47 am

Re: coke abuse - nasal damage

Post by gloria1953 »

Dear Lost

Do you know how I knew my son was doing coke and not heroin? He was nasty and abusive and flew into filthy rages. How I hate that coke is socially acceptable because that makes users think that they are doing nothing wrong. And what an excuse that getting help will damage his career. No, being an unreliable cokehead who owes the world money will do that all on its own.

On a practical matter, please do all that you can to protect your assets. Addicts will do desperate things to lay their hands on money such as taking second mortgages out, siphoning off savings and of course ruining your credit. I would even hide my jewelry. I was burnt there as one day I was walking by the local pawn shop and saw two of my rings there. I got them back but other things went missing and I was never able to retrieve them.

The thing is this - at the end of the day, no matter how much you love him, he is your husband and not your child. He is not your blood. Husbands can be replaced lol. Seriously though, it is easier to show a partner the door than your child. And do you know what? Many times the relationship is retrievable once they have seriously taken steps although admittedly there are times when there has been too much water under the bridge. I know many ex-colleagues in the music business who are now 20, 25 years sober. It can be done. There are many success stories but it must be their success story and not yours.

Take care, my dear.

G
Lost&Broken
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:34 pm

Re: coke abuse - nasal damage

Post by Lost&Broken »

He has already sold our wedding rings and other bits of expensive items etc we literally have nothing left. Savings gone . Currently in process of getting mortgage over into my name only as I need to sever myself financially from him as due to his bad credit it affects my credit score.

He has crossed not only my financial boundaries but also my sense of safety in my own home ... Drug dealers knocking on our door for money he owes ... Deep down I know he's gone way too far and marriage counselling won't save us now
Lost&Broken
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:34 pm

Re: coke abuse - nasal damage

Post by Lost&Broken »

Ii frequently run land registry checks on the house but also assured that mortgage company and me would all need to agree to the second mortgage - over my dead body ...

When he became virtually bankrupt and tried to get me to agree to be a guarantor for more loans alarm bells sounded so I now I check my credit report daily and have set up fraud alerts and have told him the minute he applies for credit in my name I'll go straight to police and will also report to his regulatory authority for his job... How be still has his job is beyond me but he wi be on verge now of losing it any day like his other job last year...

Guess just writing all this now to warn others whoaybe thinking. Their loved ones will never go this far... Never in a million years did I think it would happen to us but it did
gloria1953
Posts: 865
Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2015 9:47 am

Re: coke abuse - nasal damage

Post by gloria1953 »

Excellent, well done. Please make sure this is in writing by registered post. I have dealt with several cases in which the husband forged the wife's signature. Notoriously hard to prove and the bank threw them under the bus.
LM66
Posts: 2321
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:04 am

Re: coke abuse - nasal damage

Post by LM66 »

Hi Lost
You are doing the right things to protect yourself. There comes a point when we have to do this, or risk being dragged into the hole with them.
You stay strong, and do what you have to do.

Much Love
L x
"You can choose to continually live in the shadow of your addict, allowing his/her chaos and drama to dictate your whole existence, or you can take control of your life."
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