Now Comes the Hard Part

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gloria1953
Posts: 865
Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2015 9:47 am

Now Comes the Hard Part

Post by gloria1953 »

My son was released from hospital yesterday and is with us for a few weeks before he moves into new digs.

I was unashamedly overjoyed to see him and he looked well despite the ordeal he inflicted on himself (and us). I actually forgot what a nice person he is when not using.

The hard part now is for me not to endlessly fret and worry when he goes out. He is almost 30 years old and I cannot keep tabs on him. I cannot torture myself or him by obsessing on if he will go back to his bad old ways. Having seriously dodged a bullet (he was days away from death) I need to find the strength to trust him to do the right thing. I am aware that a couple of his friends do cocaine recreationally and I can only hope that they are good enough friends not to use in front of him. It could literally kill him. It is very hard to trust one somebody has betrayed it so profoundly.

It is back to 'Let go and let God'.
Lavender
Posts: 49
Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2018 8:18 pm

Re: Now Comes the Hard Part

Post by Lavender »

Hi gloria, I am so happy for you.I'm glad he's well enough to come home. I would feel exactly the same as you. I'd want to wrap him up in cotton wool and not let him out of my sight. You have all been through so much....and I know how very poorly he was, but it's probably done him a lot of good being in hospital for so long.in more ways than one. This has got to be a life changing moment for him. And I think he will look at things differently.

My son rang me today and asked if I could take him some things. We had lunch and I went to see the house he is sharing. He was talking none stop for 4 hours.it's the most he's said to me in year's. Then when I went back to the car he went quiet and see med upset.I didn't cry and I stayed up beat. I bought him lunch and some things from the bakery, but that was it.I'm gunna try to be strict. I had a cry when I was driving home. I wasn't made to be this mean I'm a people pleaser. But I've done all that before and it didn't work so this time I've got to do it different and let him grow up and do things by himself. It's tough. I'm constantly reading my red book and the bullet points that bette wrote for me were spot on. I'm thinking about you, if you lived near me I would meet you for a cuppa.take care xxxxx
Paulette
Posts: 208
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2019 9:29 am

Re: Now Comes the Hard Part

Post by Paulette »

Dear Gloria

It's great that your son is home at last, and also that you have a plan for him to leave home. That's huge progress.

Of course you will fret and worry. I'm sure it will take a huge amount of strength and courage to let go, and I'm sure you can do it.

Keep posting. We are with you.

Px
LM66
Posts: 2321
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:04 am

Re: Now Comes the Hard Part

Post by LM66 »

Hi G,
You have more strength than you know. It always surprises me, when I feel at the end of my rope, a strength comes from somewhere. I guess it's because we know deep down, there's no option.
Just take one day at a time.

Thinking of you and sending love
L x
"You can choose to continually live in the shadow of your addict, allowing his/her chaos and drama to dictate your whole existence, or you can take control of your life."
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