Hello all
I have been struggling to believe that my partner is using drugs. I was forced to confront the issue a few weeks ago when someone who knows him of old pointed out to me "you know he is using don't you"
All the signs are there - but I have been struggling to believe it. I thought he might be on Cocaine because of the physical and psychological symptoms.
This weekend I hit a new realisation and feeling both sickened and frightened. I have been keeping a diary and realise that it is very often a Thursday when he losses his temper with me (the day before payday)
Normally I just withdraw at this point and he usually 're emerges by the beginning of the week. Unusually I phoned him Friday to see how he was. He was barely coherent. I tried again yesterday evening. He was sounding *so* paranoid I was feeling frightened.
Today he is still on accusatory mood - and just saying he is confused about my behaviour towards him (which is one of avoidance when He is like this) He rarely offers any apology. Is this usual lapse in memory usual can anyone tell me?
There were red marks on the crease of both his elbows when I last actively looked a week or so ago - but I he recently had, had blood tests so didn't pay too much attention. Could he be using heroin?
This is all becoming horribly real and I am feeling very frightened about what I should do next. Any help or advice would be most welcome. Thank you.
Feeling scared . . .
Re: Feeling scared . . .
Hello
I don't think I can offer advice, but at least everyone here can offer support and solidarity. I don't know what all these signs mean, and I'm not sure it matters. As I understand it, heroin in as likely to be smoked as injected nowadays. But you've identified patterns of behaviour that confirm his drug addiction. That's the key. An addict will put themselves and their addiction above anything and everyone else. Also, the behaviour is abusive and why should you tolerate that?
We are living through a very scary time in history. At the moment, and for the next few months at least, you must prioritise yourself and keep yourself safe and well. If only so that you can care for people who might need your help who do not abuse you. He's going to do what he's going to do, regardless of what you do, so there's no point worrying about that! Try to step right back, put yourself first. Maybe cut all contact if you can - block his number if you feel able to do so.
Sending hugs and love
Keep strong
Pxx
I don't think I can offer advice, but at least everyone here can offer support and solidarity. I don't know what all these signs mean, and I'm not sure it matters. As I understand it, heroin in as likely to be smoked as injected nowadays. But you've identified patterns of behaviour that confirm his drug addiction. That's the key. An addict will put themselves and their addiction above anything and everyone else. Also, the behaviour is abusive and why should you tolerate that?
We are living through a very scary time in history. At the moment, and for the next few months at least, you must prioritise yourself and keep yourself safe and well. If only so that you can care for people who might need your help who do not abuse you. He's going to do what he's going to do, regardless of what you do, so there's no point worrying about that! Try to step right back, put yourself first. Maybe cut all contact if you can - block his number if you feel able to do so.
Sending hugs and love
Keep strong
Pxx
Re: Feeling scared . . .
Thank you Paulette. You give excellent advice. You are quite right - the world has bigger issues to concern itself with than the drama of our addicted love ones.
As you say it is his patterns of behaviour and lifestyle in general that tell me he is not safe to be around. It is a worrying time to be on my own but equally I must now prioritise my own well being and that of my family.
Sending love and support to you also Paulette - and for everyone out there who is reading this. With each other's help we can again learn to love and care for ourselves - one day at a time. X
As you say it is his patterns of behaviour and lifestyle in general that tell me he is not safe to be around. It is a worrying time to be on my own but equally I must now prioritise my own well being and that of my family.
Sending love and support to you also Paulette - and for everyone out there who is reading this. With each other's help we can again learn to love and care for ourselves - one day at a time. X
Re: Feeling scared . . .
Those are two lovely posts. Thank you, Paulette and Free2bme. My addict son ruined our weekend (remotely, as he does not live nearby) and put his two brothers and sister in law through the blackmail wringer. No-one gave him any cash. Hurrah!!
My family members will all help one another in the coming months, and as you both rightly imply, wider society, by our endurance and dignified efforts to put up with adverse circumstances. How differently will our addicts react!
I'm choosing Life and Hope, not this deathly cult of addiction, which I have long felt I foster by paying any attention at all to his self indulgent, self pitying ramblings.
Let's remain together on here, too. Love, P. x
My family members will all help one another in the coming months, and as you both rightly imply, wider society, by our endurance and dignified efforts to put up with adverse circumstances. How differently will our addicts react!
I'm choosing Life and Hope, not this deathly cult of addiction, which I have long felt I foster by paying any attention at all to his self indulgent, self pitying ramblings.
Let's remain together on here, too. Love, P. x