Hi again all ... my daughter is nearly 7 months of the heroin through a very good project living in ... I must admit she has done well and she has passed 4 college courses and she is currently doing another ..
I have only called her twice to let her focus on herself... She was due to move into a place on the 10th of January but this has been put on hold due to COVID. The problem is the last time I called her she is so very volatile calling me for everything... she lost her little girl because rightly so the social services caught up with her 6 years ago ... I couldn’t let the wee one go into care or be adopted I love her so very much .... My husband and I took the wee one to Spain when we both retired .... after 2 years out of the blue physically attacked me 3 times in Spain at the same time then he sold my car stopped my money and I was totally lost I bit into an olive and not realising the stone was there full of anxiety broke 2 front teeth ... agony I had to get bone grafting it was agony by this time he came back my face was the size of a pumpkin and black and blue I made him keep the wee one away from me so she wouldn’t see me oh god I love her soo very much .. My husband had never hit me before this though emotionally he was abusive though I couldn’t see it .... I planned to get back to the UK with the wee one we both had kinship care though his is through marriage not blood .... I then took a terrible virus it was similar or was COVID many months before it was diagnosed as a pandemic.... I was so very ill he totally ignored me I was so hot I was hallucinating thought I was on the ceiling trying to move I caught him taking my pulse .... We are both recovering alcoholics am 22 years he was 2 when we met he was so lovely and kind and everyone said how much he loved me so we married.... I new something was wrong pretty quickly but he always talked me round he had a really good job an editor with the national newspaper.... He didn’t so much as make me a cup of tea I was crawling up and down the stairs living on water kids yogurt and bread he laughed and belittled me .... I honestly thought he had a brain tumour... I called social services and wrote to them also I kept all paperwork... eventually through the help of friends I got me and the wee one on the plane ( I had managed to get him to move out after an anger outburst like I had never seen ). His eyes were black the devils advocate.... I fell into the plane and fell off the plane I was so ill .... After a lot of arguing the social services gave me a foster mum the wee one was on a farm with the animals she loved it .... I was to have her Friday after school and take her back on a Sunday afternoon it was perfect .... To my horror they got in touch with him and they gave her to him to take back to Spain.... Then the virus he hasn’t let me speak or see my little girl for 18 months now he is a monster but I have been trying to divorce him for 18 months now but he keeps causing problems however this is about to end he has no more excuses and then I am getting on a plane to take him to court in Spain and I am told he is in a lot of trouble .... the lady from woman’s aid has been brilliant she is with me all the way .....I have to keep her away from her mother as it could get to the social work failure to protect which I don’t doubt he would try and do even although she is no longer under the social work services .... phew I honestly didn’t mean to go so deeply into this but I must have been meant to ..... I cannot let my daughter into my life as I know the carnage she has caused and can cause again ...I am a very grateful member of AA which has brought me so far with its members but am tired so tired of all the destruction my heroin addict daughter has caused for over 20 years ... I am at peace I came back and brought the wee one with me he took her so it’s his stuff not mine and I know in my heart I have been honest all the way but he has told many lies as has my daughter and I know the 12 step program is about honesty...
Thank you for listening to me may god bless you all
Lesleyrose
My daughter is so angry
Re: My daughter is so angry
Hi Lesleerose
You've had a rotten time of it.
It might be an idea to let your daughter call you, if she's a mind to. When my son is lashing out a me, or being downright horrible, I hang up on him. I won't be a target for his abuse. It's bloody hurtful.
Sometimes, we can't do right for doing wrong in.their eyes.
I truly hope things work in your favour soon.
You have been so strong, despite the obvious heartache that you feel.
Much Love
L x
You've had a rotten time of it.
It might be an idea to let your daughter call you, if she's a mind to. When my son is lashing out a me, or being downright horrible, I hang up on him. I won't be a target for his abuse. It's bloody hurtful.
Sometimes, we can't do right for doing wrong in.their eyes.
I truly hope things work in your favour soon.
You have been so strong, despite the obvious heartache that you feel.
Much Love
L x
"You can choose to continually live in the shadow of your addict, allowing his/her chaos and drama to dictate your whole existence, or you can take control of your life."
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Re: My daughter is so angry
Dear L
Thank you so much for your reply and for the A.A. site ... I am totally bewildered at the selfishness she is 38 now ... and has stolen most of my life as mothers do I don’t want anything from her a little gratitude would be good and unfortunately when they get off everything their character doesn’t change much ... I have another daughter a staff nurse she and her 25 year old daughter ( I helped to bring her up ) haven’t spoken to me in over 10 years ...and I honestly don’t know why ... If I approach them am either ignored or given abuse ..it seems all to be about money for them
I have heard that most people live and never wake up ...I believe that for if it was not for my faith in my higher power I wouldn’t be able to cope with all of this ... So yes you are right I won’t be contacting any of them again ... I do have lovely friends who work the A.A. program they are my family now including yourself
Bless you and stay safe
Lesleyrose
Thank you so much for your reply and for the A.A. site ... I am totally bewildered at the selfishness she is 38 now ... and has stolen most of my life as mothers do I don’t want anything from her a little gratitude would be good and unfortunately when they get off everything their character doesn’t change much ... I have another daughter a staff nurse she and her 25 year old daughter ( I helped to bring her up ) haven’t spoken to me in over 10 years ...and I honestly don’t know why ... If I approach them am either ignored or given abuse ..it seems all to be about money for them
I have heard that most people live and never wake up ...I believe that for if it was not for my faith in my higher power I wouldn’t be able to cope with all of this ... So yes you are right I won’t be contacting any of them again ... I do have lovely friends who work the A.A. program they are my family now including yourself
Bless you and stay safe
Lesleyrose
Re: My daughter is so angry
Lesley Rose, just here to send you love and support. I feel for you, BUT it's good that you feel you have friends in AA and Famanon. Both are fellowships which are there to help people beat addictions, to alcohol on the one hand and to our addicts on the other. You are a good and decent person and we are all here if you need to keep posting. Please do. It's safety valve. P. xxxx