He broke me

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elou90
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2020 8:56 pm

Re: He broke me

Post by elou90 »

Thank you Lesleerose I have ordered the book.

I have done the same as you many a time. People will say to me why where u stupid enough to give him it but they convince you. Mines would make up an excuse like he needed it for work or to buy a tool and I would give him it not knowing he would tell his mum the exact same story and she would be giving him more.
Right now I’m £700 down since Xmas time when I had to bail him out of not being able to buy any presents for his son. I wasn’t going to let a 8 year old boy not get anything for Xmas. Even had to lend him money for my own present. I know I will never see this money again but it pisses me off as I panic if I owe any money to anyone and pay it off immediately.
lesleerose
Posts: 1247
Joined: Tue May 05, 2020 5:38 pm

Re: He broke me

Post by lesleerose »

Yes I am the same as you don’t like to owe anybody money and I didn’t bring her up like this it’s awful I say to myself what did I give birth too ... Over 20 years of a nightmare anyone on here will understand and my crime I only tried too love her back to health ... thank god it’s a day at a time am sure you will get a lot from the book
Take care of yourself first because it is so easy to let this sickness overpower you
Keep sharing on here you will find an inner strength and peace
Lesleyrose
elou90
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2020 8:56 pm

Re: He broke me

Post by elou90 »

Update_ He reached out on Friday saying he wanted to speak to me as he had loads to say and didn’t like how things where left. So after days of thinking I emailed back and agreed to speak to him. He called me yesterday. He seemed calm and told me that he hated the way things where left and wanted the chance to apologise. (Not at step 9 yet) but didn’t want to wait till then. So I agreed to meet him this Friday. As the day went on he was sending random messages about how his life is back on track etc but a few of the things he said where still lies and I could see them a mile off (red flags already) Later that night I got another phone call to say he’s not on any of his depression/psychosis meds anymore as he’s decided to stop them against his drs orders. I decided meeting him wouldn’t be a good idea if he’s not on medication as I have seen him when he refuses to take it and what happens to him.

All it took was for me to say something he didn’t like for him to crack and the old him came out. I terminated the phone call then I started getting emails about how I need to come out my “pity party” and it was sad that I was stuck in the past and that I wanted him back apparently!

I have now managed to block his emails. Today gave me the closure I needed to prove I done the right thing and he’s never going to change who he is even if he is clean. Complete narcissist behaviour, not willing to see how others feel or take any responsibility for his actions.
I’m just amazed at how the same person can become two completely different people within hours. Just been in contact with him for a few hours took me back to the madness and chaos of addiction and I didn’t like it one bit.
He’s the one that reached out to me. I was happy doing my no contact so back on it and know not to fall into his trap if he contacts me again.
lesleerose
Posts: 1247
Joined: Tue May 05, 2020 5:38 pm

Re: He broke me

Post by lesleerose »

Absolutely fantastic and I know it will still hurt I am at the final stages of divorce from mine and he has kept it going for a long time control but when the ostrich puts his head in the sand especially a narcissist ostrich sooner or later they have to take it out ... I think they will freeze his assets he is hiding something... And mine is sober for 12 years shows me the illness is in him not in the bottle or the drug by the way alcohol is a drug ...
I will be hearing soon hopefully the end of this week or next week it’s been a nightmare and I honestly don’t know where I got the strength from because just over a year ago I was completely broken .... Well I do know it is you and others on here my higher power and the program of recovery
Yours in fellowship
Lesleyrose
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