Daughter addicted to benzodiazepines

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Kates_cat
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Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2021 9:00 pm

Daughter addicted to benzodiazepines

Post by Kates_cat »

Reading this forum I can see people have all sorts of problems. My daughter is addicted to benzodiazepines. Is in a very agitated state, paranoid, angry, suicidal. We have always had a good relationship but now she says I’m to blame, never loved her and won’t speak to me. I’m devastated, but I’ve told her I won’t stop loving her.
She tried to commit suicide by wading into a swollen river. I called emergency services and the police came and took her to a local mental health unit, but they just turned around and sent her home again. Her partner and I have managed to get her help and she’s talking to a drug charity and now has a sympathetic GP and an appointment with a psychiatrist.
I’m struggling not talking to her, we used to see each other regularly. But I’m respecting her wish to be left alone. Her partner calls me every day to give an update so at least I have that.
She blames me for the police coming and taking her away but I honestly know I did the right thing. I’d love to know if one day she will be herself again. I love her and miss and feel useless.
LM66
Posts: 2321
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:04 am

Re: Daughter addicted to benzodiazepines

Post by LM66 »

Hi KC

It's so hard when addiction hits our loved ones. My son is my addict, and he too, abused benzos, in large amounts. Mixing that with whatevsr else was on the go, and alcohol, and eventually, heroin. Totally changed his personality (to say the least). He became a nasty and aggressive. Suicide threats on the come downs. Horrible to watch your (adult) kid destroy themselves.
I would have done exactly as you did, by calling emergency services - of course you did the right thing and never doubt that.
They will blame us for the sun rising, and setting. Sadly, the drugs mess with their heads so much that they can't see their behaviours as we do. I got blamed for all that was wrong with my sons life too. Absolute kak!
Mental health won't do anything if they are using, and bounce them to addiction team. Support is so difficult to access during this pandemic also. However, what was it that they did not "get" about your daughter wading into a river, with thoughts of ending her life? Just to send her home again! I have had similar experiences, and you end up frantic as you just want someone to help. I learned that no one can help, unless my son wants it. He has to want to change his life around. He's currently in prison, so I'm guessing he doesn't want change yet!
It rips your heart to bits, when the relationship changes dramatically. You wonder where your son/daughter went, and who is this in their place!
At least she has her partner there, and they are keeping you in the loop. She's got the ball rolling by accessing support, so let her do it.
Try ( I know it's hard), to use this time to focus on yourself, and be kind to you. Dealing with an addicted loved one can wipe you out every way possible.
Much Love
L x
"You can choose to continually live in the shadow of your addict, allowing his/her chaos and drama to dictate your whole existence, or you can take control of your life."
Poetry
Posts: 1349
Joined: Fri May 11, 2018 1:59 am

Re: Daughter addicted to benzodiazepines

Post by Poetry »

KC, I can sense your despair. What is good is that as LM says your daughter is at least open to being helped. On here, we have all been through the same ordeal, just with different details, My son's version of the river incident was weaving around in the face of oncoming traffic. Me-police, crisis team, paramedics called (he had gone back to his flat and phoned his then wife who was staying with us), psychiatric assessment at a hospital. the psych phoned me (loophole somewhere found to be able to discuss with family) and said drug support offered and refused.

He has never seemed interested in recovery . I have had to give up and he is out of contact with with family, BUT they CAN recover, with support which they are willing to accept. Your daughter has a cha. She is in a relationship and so her partner will also be on team.

Make sure you do realise that it IS up to her. And of course we get blamed for everything. My son had a very on the whole happy childhood and yet we were, wait for it, blamed amongst a whole bunch of serious stuff, for giving him courgettes with his meals. Not sure how I have evaded being jailed for that level of abuse! P
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