Can’t believe I fell for it again

[lesleerose]

I have just sent my daughter £150 ... she called me on a strange number ( she had been off everything for nearly a year then relapsed ) when she called she said she had relapsed and lost her phone and spent all of her food money in a flat by herself it honestly never occurred to me to ask who’s phone she was using ... she told me the food bank she had a voucher for was in the place where she had relapsed and she didn’t want to go back there .. And I fell for it again idiot that I am of course no answer from the phone she was using...
I feel so very small and distraught again and again goodness I nearly bought her another phone but thankfully didn’t
Alone again in her nightmare will block this unknown number
Relentless
Lesleyrose

[LM66]

Hi Lesleyrose

Don't beat yourself up. We've all been duped by the buggers! It's not that you are being stupid, it's due to having that little bit of hope, and wanting to give a chance.
Now you know better, you'll do better. They really are masters of manipulation, and will pull a fast one, and not blink an eye.
I have to say, I hate being swindled out of cash!
Much Love
L x

[lesleerose]

Thank you L all the lies and deceit and I am trying so hard to keep her little beautiful daughter out of the care system I love her so much she is 8 now and it’s nearly time for me to tell her about why her mum can’t bring her up it’s such a shame she is a beautiful little girl with a heart of solid gold both parents heroin addicts .... unfortunately I can’t do it alone I need help ...
They are so dukin selfish ....
I will stay strong
Thank you
Lesleyrose

[mickey]

Hi Lesleyrose, Please don't be hard on yourself, I have been lied to so many times I couldn't put a number on it. We fall for it because we love them and can't bear to see them suffer or struggle, we are caring people, it's only natural to try and help.
I now no longer even talk to my son despite still living under the same roof. His mother has now become his enabler and still thinks he will change, he won't because he doesn't want to.
This has now resulted in my marriage broken after 36 years and will be selling our family home, I just can't bear this madness anymore. I really hope your daughter sorts herself out for both your sakes but my advice to you is to permanently close the bank of mum, I know this is hard but until she can prove to you she can get clean and stay clean she will keep bleeding you dry, believe me I know!
Please be strong and don't give in no matter what she asks you for, addicts don't care where the money comes from, they just want their fix and will do or say anything to get it.
Wishing you all the best, Take care, M.

[lesleerose]

Thank you M for all going on for 20 years now i couldn’t live with the insanity either put her out a long time ago stopped doing all an addicts parent does she was in recovery again 7 rehabs later this one was for a year some I paid for some were paid by the council basically they had to keep her in longer because of COVID then a nice flat with all the trimmings she called yesterday saying she had relapsed and hated it saying she couldn’t live like that anymore blah blah blah so I fell for it she sounded well only after the money was transferred to her bank the penny dropped now I have blocked ever Avenue of contact like you this nightmare has destroyed all of my family we’re all apart and no one talks to anyone else .... I am so sorry about your marriage they just don’t care who they destroy .... There is a lot to be said for peace and I have that it is truly wonderful... I wish you well for the future it will take time to adapt but a far better future lies ahead
Bless you
Lesleyrose

[Poetry]

I hear all the pain but also the steely determination in your posts, everyone. I too realise that if my son ever gave any indication of wanting to recover. I would begin to hope and to believe in it. This is because we are NOT like them. We understand duty, and that love asks for an answer in the ability to love back. Their minds and souls are different. If they ever DO feel any love, it is quickly superseded by the overriding desire to take drugs.

I think what hurts me in retrospect is how he deluded his dad (I was onto him sooner) and how at one point, husband had to break it to me that he had lent son a card which had some funds on it left over from holidays and he had stolen five hundred off the card one night. I had had less confidence in this "doing well" scenario than husband and I imagine he felt bad having to tell me he had been wrong. NOBODY should be put in that position, of having to feel guilty that trust had been misplaced. SO sad.

Please do keep "plodding on" everybody. Even though my life is pretty peaceful with the addict absent, it's grief on waking every morning. but I am determined and I will not waver. We are important. Love to you all. P>