Duty solicitor?

[dramaqueen]

Hi all

I haven’t written on here recently but I have kept up with reading the posts and am always struck by the amazing empathy and support offered here.

I gave up the battle of trying to stop my teenage boys taking drugs, hoping that it is mostly a cannabis habit which they will hopefully grow out of. I also had to give up on trying to get their dad to help with the parenting after various dramas last year.

Unfortunately my now 16 year old has become involved in an incident involving a school mate and has been told he will be interviewed under caution at the police station.

I have a question which I thought someone on here might be able to help me to answer. We have been told that he can be accompanied by a solicitor when he is questioned. Should I be trying to find a solicitor for him or can we use the duty solicitor?

DQ

[LM66]

Hi DQ

You can do either, but it wouldn't hurt to contact a lawyer yourself, to ask for advice, and take it from there. I know anytime my son was arrested, he asked for a specific lawyer. I wasn't aware of his arrests, as he wasn't living at home. Anyone can ask for legal representation when being questioned by the police. Your son needs to be aware that this isn't just a friendly chat with the police.
He sounds as if he isn't aware of the seriousness of the situation he's got himself into. That he was justified in his actions.
Has he said anything about a lawyer, or having to go for questioning?
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this DQ.
Sending Love
L xx

[holli414]

Hi. I would get your own solicitor personally.
You can meet with them before the date and discuss everything.
Speaking from experience x

[dramaqueen]

Thank you LM and Hollie,

I am going to call a solicitor tomorrow to find out the position.
DQ

[LM66]

Dear DQ

Hopefully, this may be the wake up call he needs. He will still be running on adrenaline right now. When he comes back to earth, it may hit him like a kick in the guts.
Thinking of you
Much Love
L x

[dramaqueen]

Aw, thank you LM.

It was all so upsetting - he was supposed to be baking a birthday cake for his brother with me - it was his brother's birthday on Saturday and obviously also Mother's Day today and the incident has totally overshadowed the weekend.

DQ

[LM66]

It truly does cast a big dark shadow over everything in life DQ. I so remember that. Every day was a crisis, never mind special occasions. They were totally ruined, because the anxiety and fear lives in your head 24/7.
They don't realise the chaos the cause, and in my sons case, he didn't give a sh*t.
Keep us posted. We may not be with you physically, but we are right beside you. I know how difficult dealing with this crap is.
Much Love
L x

[Poetry]

DQ I have thought about you often and am so glad to hear that you have been keeping in touch by reading on here. I'm also sorry to hear the most recent developments. The others have given you sound advice. I suggest you come on here when you need to. We are all with you in spirit.

Mother's Day is so hard. Birthdays and Christmas are not so bad because it's not just our motherhood being celebrated. The pain bites deep. All for one! P

[dramaqueen]

Thank you LM and Poetry for your support. Poetry - so nice to hear from you and I hope all is as well with you as it can be.

As my son is only 16 I will do my best to help him out this time. I hope it is a wake up call for him; we can but hope!

Very best wishes

DQ

[lesleerose]

Dear DQ
I am so sorry for everything you are going through with your son it’s my daughter who is the active heroin and probably anything else she gets her hands on .... You are totally powerless here the courts unfortunately see this stuff every day ... Hopefully as this has back fired on him he will get a wake up call for all of your sakes .....Have you tried to call women’s aid they are fantastic because of the vulnerable situation you are in wouldn’t do any harm to contact the police office to tell them of your concerns as a women living alone the same as me ... I really wish you peace of mind .... I hope my daughter who is 38 now this has been going on since she was 12 or 13 and nothing I have done and like most of us I mean everything affecting our mental physical not to mention thousands of pounds later nothing has changed I really hope my girl goes to prison for her own safety she just missed it the last time ... She has always managed to avoid it ... I have now stepped back because I can’t do anymore this forum has been a life saver for me
Bless you all
Lesleyrose

[dramaqueen]

Dear Lesleyrose

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. Only time will tell whether my son has had a wake up call. At the moment he still seems to be laughing it off but a police interview under caution might make a difference

Best wishes

DQ

[holli414]

My son was in a lot of trouble for small silly teenage antics each time I had to be the appropriate adult.
He continued to get in trouble in his twenties and due to drug misuse he lost his license and went to prison for about 6 months !
I hope your son improves...did you get a solicitor?

[dramaqueen]

Hi Holly,

thank you for your message and I am sorry to hear about your son. Has he settled down now?

I found a local firm of solicitors who seem to have a decent reputation. They have told me that they do representation at the police station for free and that my son will qualify for legal aid as he is only 16 with no income. However, they can't apply for legal aid unless and until he is charged.

Although we have been told that my son will be invited into the police station for formal interview we have not been contacted with a date yet.

I need to find a way of encouraging him to take more responsibility for himself while still giving him parental love, support and guidance. I think I need to revisit the "Tough Love" leaflet!

Best wishes

DQ

[Poetry]

DQ, I am glad that you have made some progress and have been well informed. It does seem with a problem as terrifying as the addiction of a loved one, that for a while all semblance of reason leaves us, or it did seem to for me. Then I intuit that reason returns and our instinct to survive helps us to see things more clearly, but it does not make the pain any easier.

What is encouraging is that you are able to see that your son is beginning to be viewed as legally responsible for his actions, and you are working out a sensible compromise between that and your ongoing need to offer support to someone who is still very young. It's good that you see this with clarity.

No matter how old our addict is, and no matter what the relationship is, we are all bereaved of our expectations about normal outcomes and we all need the forum. My son's best friend's mother (they were best friends growing up) wrote to tell me that her son had got a Blue Peter badge, as he works with kids in the local community. I wrote back to say well done of course I didn't tell her, \but it hurts. Had to laugh as well. My addict's world and the world of Blue Peter-bit of a clash there!! P.

[holli414]

Hi DQ. That's good news about the solicitor.
My son attended his first meeting tonight he was very nervous but he went and enjoyed it.
Huge relief for me.
Fingers crossed for your son x