Addict partner moving away

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Hillcote
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2021 2:34 pm

Addict partner moving away

Post by Hillcote »

My partner has recently got a new job so is moving away for about 6 months

Is it wrong that I am secretly glad he’s going away ?
The late night wake ups, the borrowing money, the dealing with the after effects will all be gone

But a new worry that he won’t be able to cope appropriately (without drink or drugs) away from home

I don’t know how to feel ?
I don’t know whether to mention my concerns ?

I have very little faith that he will be clean when left to his own devices
Should I even be worried ?
He’s put so much pressure and expectation on me as a partner to support him this last year, with all the lies, money lending and helping him through the rough days

I get very little back, but yet I can’t end it

It’s like there is two of him, the nice caring version that says all the right things, and the other one who is selfish and thinks the world owes him
SJo
Posts: 67
Joined: Sun Oct 06, 2019 9:38 pm

Re: Addict partner moving away

Post by SJo »

Hi
I was sorry to read your statement

I get very little back but can't end it.

I think you are obviously a lovely person trying to fix things but what about fixing you. I think distance may help you in this instance - how are you with self care that is care of you not your partner?

It's totally normal and natural to be worried but perhaps look at codependancy on you tube to help you understand what may be happening to you in this relationship.

Jo x
LM66
Posts: 2321
Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2014 6:04 am

Re: Addict partner moving away

Post by LM66 »

Hillcote

I hear you. It's difficult to end a relationship. But you know, he's going away for 6 months - this will give you time and space, you will gain clarity.
Doesn't sound wrong at all that you are secretly glad. Living with an addict drives you round the bend. What's to miss about that! Not a jot.
Take time out for you, and leave him to do wgat he will. It doesn't matter where they are, if they want to use, they will. That ones on him, not you! Remember that! It's his to own.
Much Love
L
"You can choose to continually live in the shadow of your addict, allowing his/her chaos and drama to dictate your whole existence, or you can take control of your life."
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