A little update .. As some of you know, when I first came here and found very much needed support
, my 35 year old son, was missing (his choice) and he remained so for 40 days 
. That was until a week ago (today). Sadly he is addicted to crack cocaine, having previously been heavily to cocaine. He is now at his most desperate and lowest point of his life. He has no home and he is ‘living’ (existing) with other addicts. I have met with him (he is my son and I love him ). He cry’s how he cannot believe his life has come to this ( of course we his family can). He used to have a good job, a home , he had a partner and of course his beautiful little boy. When his life began unravelling due to his addiction, at first he lived with me ( my support didn’t stop him).. We then funded a 28 day rehab , which when he completed and was given sanctuary to continue his ‘recovery’ in his fathers home (he threw away and left) without out a word and with a substantial amount of money. All gone!!!
Nothing we as a family have done has helped him , if anything I can see very clearly, we unintentionally enabled him, by not letting him fall to his .. rock bottom as they say.
While it is beyond heartbreaking as his mother to witness , I have stayed strong, have followed advice and my instinct that there has to be another way. Our way and all the support we gave did nothing. So I knew there was absolutely no point when he called last Tuesday in allowing him back to my house and or supporting contact with his child .. not even if supervised.. it simply is too damaging at the moment.
The light, as I have said previously came from me
for God to reach him and to help me, I had no other options. I am grateful support has come and he is now due to go into a 17 month rehabilitation programme, 11 month residential (men’s) on 8th April. The rehab is Christian based and does not charge. Many positive life changing testimonies of recovery. I do hope no one feels I am preaching in anyway and I absolutely understand and accept all views , I am just sharing where we are at. I remain realistic at the journey /challenges ahead , however I do have some hope , where there was none. I will see my son again on Saturday , get him some lunch , talk let him talk and be an emotional support …nothing more.. no money, no letting him come home with me and no contact with his son , which his mother and I united upon. When he enters the rehab , I will take him , and thereafter there will be no contact with anyone for a month. He will either deal with this and focus on salvaging his life and recovery or not .. I have no other options but as I say , have hope
.I am also focusing on myself , my own recovery ,the trauma as we know is immense. My little grandson is coping as many of you kindly and wisely said he will. He misses his Daddy , however he has us all and he is somewhat reassured I hope in this
I cannot express in words how much your support means.. I am learning so much about myself and ways cope .. .. I wish you all as well as can be .. Big love to all Anaid xxx