Frightened

[Poetry]

I posted earlier, but although it said it was submitting, it has not come out. Totally agree with all of the others on here. Everybody has been worried about you. Please do not change your decision and have your granddaughter and her partner back. P.

[Angelwings]

Dear AD

I have followed your story and sorry I have not posted on here for a while but I currently have kinship care of my 5 year old granddaughter due to her mother's ongoing addiction (she is however currently in rehab and doing well).

When I contacted SS several years ago my one stipulation was that my little GD would not go into care. They advised they will always seek family first so I am sure your grandchild will be placed with your daughter or yourself. My daughter has always worked on a voluntary basis and agreed her wee one should live with me. It has been very challenging at times especially when my daughter was using, however my sole purpose now and in the future is to protect my granddaughters. One of my wee GDs lives with her father also a recovering addict.

Please please protect yourself and your little GGD, she is innocent and does not deserve any of this. My daughter had a seizure and rolled onto her own daughter, that scarred me for life. Thankfully I was there when it happened and managed to get my little granddaughter free, she was only 18 months old at the time.

Contact out of hours immediately and protect the little one

Look after yourself too, your GD can only help herself when she is ready. Sometimes they need to hit their rock bottom before that happens. It's an awful situation but the little people need protected

Take care, sending hugs

[AD2024]

Thank you everyone for your support. My great granddaughter has always loved being with us and of course it suited my granddaughter for us to take care of her child. Today has been a long day. She has a pop up tent which we have enjoyed playing camping.with her. We had our tea in the tent and thankfully she doesn't seem to have missed her mum and dad. My daughter and I will make sure that she is safe and well looked after. We have no fear that my granddaughter will come to pick her up she will be doing what she has to do without giving us a second thought. I just don't get it how someone can go from a living doting mum to someone who doesn't seem to give a sh.. she hasn't been brought up that way. We will be getting professional help. One thing I will say is that this worm has turned. I will get my life back. I know I have been too soft with her. She was my life. Not any more. I need to be strong for my daughter and son in law. He has a brain tumour and can do without all this. I hope she is happy. I'm sorry for venting my anger but the hurt I am feeling is unbearable. I stay strong for them so to be able to say how I'm feeling here helps. Thank you all again.

[Serene12]

I agree with other FA members who have posted. The 1st step of FA is “We admitted we were powerless over drugs and other people’s lives-that our lives had become unmanageable”. When I had an epiphany re. the 1st Step, I realised that I had been enabling my addict and keeping him sick, I thought I’d been helping him. By rescuing him, it stopped him feeling the consequences of his poor choices.

I’m glad to hear that you’re planning to reach out to professionals to safeguard your great granddaughter. Her nursery might have already noticed that there are issues, and can provide support and advice. In my professional experience social services prefer to place children with family members, and they support the whole family.

You sound like a very caring person and young for your age, but you must be exhausted running around after everybody and not sleeping. The FA programme has taught me to focus on myself and to put boundaries in place. You can download or order literature from the FA website, phone their helpline. Hopefully you can go along to a meeting or join an online meeting.

[AD2024]

Well I don't know which is worse. Having my granddaughter and her partner living with me or not. My daughter and I are getting message after message from her either blaming us for taking her child away or threatening suicide. Apparently on Sunday the police was called by him on her and her on him. She had smashed their house up. He told my daughter she went to his mother's half naked kicking her door down. He told the police she needed help. They took her home and told him he had to stay with his mother. The police got someone from mental health to come see her. The police phoned my daughter and told her that my granddaughter had conducted herself ok so left her alone. My daughter told them she would have lied to them but nothing happened. She went back up to his mother's when the police had gone and was pulling her hair and punching herself to blame him. The police was called again took her home again warned her that if they came out again she would be arrested. She has been messaging me today saying she needs to be with her child. I have told her she isn't fit to look after her. I wish she could get more help. We seem to be hitting brick walls . All she gets is 1 hour once a week. We cannot afford to send her to rehab I would get money from my house if I thought it would work. Has anyone else had this problem. The one good thing is my great granddaughter is still happy. We are trying to get her in nursery near us but of course it's Easter holidays

[lesleerose]

Dearest AD
All the drama that comes with the addict is relentless and there is no peace …
There are treatment centres that are free but your granddaughter must want to stop …
I spent a lot of money trying to save my daughter she was in 7 or 8 some I paid for some the local authority paid for none of it worked many years later my addict daughter is still using ..
Selling your home isn’t the way to go please believe me ..
Your granddaughter is on a downward spiral to hell and you really don’t want to go there with her ..
Time to block your granddaughter and let her hit her own rock bottom…
Your little great granddaughter needs you and your daughter you really shouldn’t be in this nightmare your health will suffer
Time to let go … as the police have said the next time she will be arrested… … exactly the same as my addict daughter …I haven’t seen her for over 2 years and I have peace we can’t save them
Yours in famanon fellowship
Please keep posting this is how we recover by sharing with each other
Lesleerose

[AD2024]

Thank you leslierose. It's a comfort to know its not just me. You think is it something we have done wrong. I worry for my daughter I don't know how she is coping. You are right. Time to let go. Thanks again

[lesleerose]

Dearest AD
I believe in the power of prayer … like you life has been difficult and I know longer accept the unacceptable….
Your daughter will be ok ….she has a wonderful amazing mother ..
Addiction can happen to anyone doctors , teachers , hairdressers, lawyers I know of one who is a procurator fiscal … no one knows why … please take care of number one yes that’s you … after all when your on a sinking ship you put your own life jacket first …
What an exceptional lady you are
You are no longer alone
Please stay with us
Bless you in Famanon fellowship
The finest fellowship in the world with the highest entrance fee
Keep smiling
Lesleerose

[Poetry]

AD Leslee is totally correct.

You cannot have the hell which you describe back in your life. I suggest that you read over what you wrote a couple of times, and recognise it. Hell.

Block her.

Your daughter and great granddaughter need you. You all need one another. There is nothing that you can do for the addict. There is plenty that she can do for herself.

Please banish any thoughts which you might have about spending any more money on your granddaughter, or, heaven forbid, selling your house. Addiction is pure evil, and we should know when we need to stop funding it. Everyone on here has been at the point at which they have been giving the addict money and spending thousands trying to solve their problem, but nothing ever works.

Change will only come when, and if, your granddaughter suddenly sees the monstrous dimensions of her behaviour, and doesn't want it any longer for herself. Then she might seek help.

My son too wasted of the time of police, hospital staff and paramedics, and frankly, they have more deserving people to try to help, and a shocking job into the bargain. P.

[Angelwings]

Dear AD

I hope you are OK my story is so very similar to your own except its my own daughter who is the addict. I have been in exactly the same situation with my girl, called the police on many many occasions when she went missing, displayed suicide idealations and generally lost the plot with her behaviour. Each time the police told me she was OK and was an adult and there was nothing they could do. Even the night she attempted to end her life, was unconscious in a hotel room they wanted me to go sit with her till an ambulance was available. I did not go as had her 5 year old too look after. She spent 5 days in hospital came out was OK for a few weeks then carried on using.

You can't help your GGD only she can want it.

Sadly its true and until your GGD wants help I would take everyone's advice and block her. It's heartbreaking I know, it took me many many years to do it but my daughter is now in rehab (2nd time) and doing very well she has been there since she reached out for help, did a detox for 3 weeks then straight to rehab before Xmas. It's the most peaceful my life has been for a while as she is safe

She has two little girls one who I have kinship care for and the other who lives with her dad. They see their mum once a week, supervised contact but she gets to spend the day with them. I will protect them with my life now as the little people are innocent and don't deserve to be part of addiction.

Keep your little one safe and protected and hopefully your GGD will reach out soon for the help she so needs

It is truly awful watching your loved one destroy their life, addiction is so powerful but you need to look after yourself and protect your little person

Tahe care AD, sending hugs your way