long term FA members suppport

[jeni]

Hi - I am 57 and have three sons who use drugs/alcohol and methadone, My life has been so adversely affected but as it happened so gradually it took me a long time to realise how dysfunctional we are as a family. I have in the last year been physically and mentally unwell and during this time all that I had previously learnt seemed to just go. I find myself in a situation whereby they have all come home to live with me -one by one and we are in a horrible place together again. there are many and varied problems and I feel that everything is overwhelming me as if I have become so stuck in my thinking and actions that I have switched off. I feel numb and angry with myself and do not know how to start again. I have huge debts and feel really alone. I know that I have on some level chosen this way again and I feel preety passive which makes me have outbursts of anger against myself but somehow I am just not able to move out of it. I am being treated for depression at this time and feel that twenty years of this hell has taken away so much of my strength and capacity. I would be grateful for any response and comment especially from those people who have experienced long term drug problems within their families, thanks Jeni

[Barboxer]

Hi
I'm new to this site, I know where you're coming from, my son has been using cannabis for 16/17 years. The problems it has caused has given my family years of heartache. I have recently joined a family support group which has made me feel that I'm doing something positive. Knowing had bad things have been for us I can't imagine how it must be for you with 3 sons using. I do hope you have some support. I wish there was an easy answer to this problem that seems to affect so many families.
Sending you a hug
Barb

[jeni]

thank you Barb for responding to my message - it was reassuring for me as I just have no support around these issues. Friends have given up I suppose as I have always been unwilling to cut those ties - I just find it so difficult. Working in mental health I have seem the end result of long term use and the accompanying symptoms etc. I have also seen some miracles happen. I shall carry on reading on this site. I am not always negative and suppose I have learnt a lot along the way. Hope you son recovers there is a lot to suggest that he will. thanks Jeni

[Dbug]

Hi Jeni,
I can’t believe you have had this in your life for this long and with all 3 of your children, how you are still standing on some days is a miracle!
We have an adult son who has been using drugs for most of his adult life, on and off, we just didn’t realise. We thought he had taken ‘serious’ drugs a few times in his life but didn’t realise the whole thing had been secretly going on for years, methadone, heroine and in the early days weed.
To say I feel like a fool is an understatement, but it’s hard, could you actually make your 3 sons homeless and live with consequences for your health, I feel that if we made our son homeless my mental health would suffer too much. There is no right answer, but if you need to hear kind words- well done on not giving up on them, for still loving them, for giving them a roof over their heads. Please help you too though- in whatever way you can mange and live with