Strength

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Hopeful1
Posts: 94
Joined: Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:26 pm

Strength

Post by Hopeful1 »

I found myself desperately missing my best friend, feeling like I was in the depths of despair and depression and I was so uncontrollably melancholic. Feeling like I was in a black hole that I couldn't get out of. Then I remembered the weed cascading all over his coffee table. His eyes looking yellow and bloodshot red. The amount of times he would say he was broke yet there were drugs in abundance. The times he would excitedly get ready to drive a crazy long distance to his drug dealer to 'pick up.'

So I'm at home living a clean life not blowing the smoke away, not reminding him that cocaine and MDMA can also kill him and that cannabis was not good for him in any way and can also be dipped in anything. Even household cleaner and toxic only God knows what. Anything can be cut into it. And the same for any drugs. Absolutely anything could be in it. If he wants drugs then it's entirely his choice. I miss him yes. But no I do not miss seeing him like that and watching him plan his life around drugs. Watching him not be bothered if he was continually late to his amazing well paid workplace.

You know what I love him but I'm glad he's having to deal with it. I tried to be a light in his life and I tried to encourage him to be healthier. Tonight I feel stronger and not melancholic. Tonight I understand that it's his choice if he wants to destroy himself. I don't need to cry tonight. I hope I will get my best friend back healthy someday. In the meantime I'm glad not to try to keep the smoke out of my hair. I can hug myself smokefree.
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