Exhausted

[dramaqueen]

Hi all

I feel exhausted and emotional this week. The emotions I welcome - I have been on anti depressants for over 5 years since a few months after I found out about my ex husband’s affair and our 31 year relationship (since school) ended. I finally came off them 2.5 weeks ago and suddenly I am able to cry again which feels like a miracle as the meds basically just numbed me.

I’m about to have my interim review at work and my manager (who is luckily leaving) has really upset me referring back to my last mental health absence which was more than 18 months ago. I was signed off because my youngest son was suicidal and in and out of hospital following multiple suicide attempts. My manager said I might not want to share the details with my new manager unless my mental health “flares up” again. Obviously my mental health suffered - but I was signed off because I could not handle the stress of supporting my son through his crisis and work at the same time. Since then I have worked without interruption all through the other dramas created by my son, the repeat police incidents, school exclusion and ultimately having to ask him to leave. My manager has said how much “progress” I have made and how much more positive I seem - well yes, I no longer have an addict and his chaos under my roof! Of course my manager has very young kids and no experience of addiction.

I know I am lucky to still have my job despite all the dramas but it hurts that I am regarded as the problem.

Meanwhile my oldest son organised to take his addict younger brother away for the weekend, turned up to pick him up and he refused to leave his room, later lying saying he was asleep and the home didn’t wake him. And my middle son has been in bed all day. I’m taken aback at the sense of entitlement while I continue to struggle on with work and running the house.

Hey Ho - moan over. I was so diligent, first job at 15, I never expected two of my kids to make themselves so helpless in life and to take on so little responsibility for their own choices and actions.

DQ

[LM66]

Hi DQ
Don't let that useless manager get to you. Some people end up in management positions, and they have no people skills at all and should never be in such a position.
They think their position allows them free reign, to attempt to treat people shabbily. They are a*seh*les! Plain and simple. Don't even give someone like that the time of day.
You have done wonderfully to get to where you are, and dealing with what you have been faced with. The saying, " people don't get it, til they get it", is true. They cannot empathise with others. They are the one with the problem DQ, not you.
Stand tall! Put them on the back foot.
Never underestimate how great you have done.
Much Love
L x

[Poetry]

In my teaching job, as a classroom teacher at the top of a scale, regarded as outstanding, and with top examination results, the frustration used to feel with incompetent middle managers in particular was gobsmacking.

This isn't a time of place for a lot of anecdotes about my experience for maths but just to let you know that it is is the norm, for people to behave like this, and not the exception. It comes about because people are promoted above their competence, and emotional intelligence is often not a prerequisite for doing well in the workplace.

In my own case, I wasn't in a position to go for promotion because I had ME, and refused to take a more senior job, which I would then have been worried about in terms of my being able to fulfil my commitment.

You have to stick with your version of the truth? DQ , which LM had given you. You have done what most workers would never be able to achieve, and kept going through the most appalling situations in your private life.

It's interesting that the person doing your review didn't seem to have any concrete evidence that you haven't done your work properly.....?

Keep going. P. Obvs!!

[LM66]

"It comes about because people are promoted above their competence, and emotional intelligence is often not a prerequisite for doing well in the workplace."

Never a truer word Poetry! They think they are the ticket, as they have the position. It's a pity they are sh*t at the job.
Much Love
L x

[lesleerose]

There is a small word we use in the sister fellowship AA which I am proudly a member of that word is YET you manager doesn’t realise it could be her tomorrow or anyone else so no problems yet
My husband of 12 years started to hit me when we moved to Spain after he retired he honestly never did this before though I saw a few red flags he is narcissistic and the last 3 years he has tried to destroy me but hey ho softly softly catchy monkey we are in court on Friday
It’s taken 3 years but I have been honest all the way he is a compulsive liar and a wordsmith
So am so looking forward to Friday no where left for him to hide ostrich has to take his head out of the sand
I pray for him every night not for him but for me to have peace the prayers for him stop when I get that bit of paper that says divorced ....
I have and am ill but there is treatment ongoing gets worse before it gets better
They are going for a cure nearly half way there
I didn’t realise I was going to share this but am so glad I have
Yours in fellowship
Lesleerose

[Poetry]

Sending you lots of love, Leslee. I am exactly the same as you, in that sometimes I come on here and look back in astonishment of what I've written. We're all here to listen, and it's all interesting. P.

[lesleerose]

Thank you so much poetry I no you suffer with your illness I keep all the girls on here in my prayers we are in it together
I sent you an email maybe it didn’t send properly
Useless at technical
Hope French princess is good xxx

[LM66]

All seems to be moving in the right direction Lesleerose. May it continue to do so!

Much Love
L x

[dramaqueen]

There is a small word we use in the sister fellowship AA which I am proudly a member of that word is YET you manager doesn’t realise it could be her tomorrow or anyone else so no problems yet
My husband of 12 years started to hit me when we moved to Spain after he retired he honestly never did this before though I saw a few red flags he is narcissistic and the last 3 years he has tried to destroy me but hey ho softly softly catchy monkey we are in court on Friday
It’s taken 3 years but I have been honest all the way he is a compulsive liar and a wordsmith
So am so looking forward to Friday no where left for him to hide ostrich has to take his head out of the sand
I pray for him every night not for him but for me to have peace the prayers for him stop when I get that bit of paper that says divorced ....
I have and am ill but there is treatment ongoing gets worse before it gets better
They are going for a cure nearly half way there
I didn’t realise I was going to share this but am so glad I have
Yours in fellowship
Lesleerose

Best of luck for tomorrow Lesleerose - I will be rooting for you!