Yes he could have died … My addict daughter did die she overdosed on purpose it took 3 of those pads the ambulance paramedics use to bring her back she didn’t want to live anymore… … that was 2 years ago and as far as i am aware my poor addict daughter is still using … you see I could not live in her world only she can do that … she started using in her early teens she is now 40 … letting go is a process at the moment you are enabling him time to take a step back for YOU … I did quite a while ago and I am at peace …get to as many meetings as you can and please keep posting..
You can’t save him
Yours in famanon fellowship
Lesleerose
Feel broken
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dramaqueen
- Posts: 403
- Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 2:06 pm
Re: Feel broken
Hi Lacura
I am sorry to read this. Clearly your husband has majorly relapsed and is continuing to use cocaine. If a hospital trip over a suspected heart attack isn’t enough to cause a rock bottom I don’t know what is. His rock bottom will be personal to him and he will only choose recovery and sobriety when he is ready and willing - you can’t make him do this.
Like Poetry, I have looked back at your original posts a year ago and I can see that your husband has not been prioritising you for some time. Work, alcohol, cannabis, now cocaine. How much longer are you willing to put up with this and take front row seat to his drama and chaos?
I hope you are getting plenty of support and making time for self care. Your husband’s crisis is entirely self made and he needs to take responsibility for his own recovery.
Take care and stay in touch.
DQ
I am sorry to read this. Clearly your husband has majorly relapsed and is continuing to use cocaine. If a hospital trip over a suspected heart attack isn’t enough to cause a rock bottom I don’t know what is. His rock bottom will be personal to him and he will only choose recovery and sobriety when he is ready and willing - you can’t make him do this.
Like Poetry, I have looked back at your original posts a year ago and I can see that your husband has not been prioritising you for some time. Work, alcohol, cannabis, now cocaine. How much longer are you willing to put up with this and take front row seat to his drama and chaos?
I hope you are getting plenty of support and making time for self care. Your husband’s crisis is entirely self made and he needs to take responsibility for his own recovery.
Take care and stay in touch.
DQ
Re: Feel broken
After another week of utter chaos and using, he finally admitted he couldn't stop and I found a treatment centre (private) which he went into last Friday.
The relief of him being away was huge. I should never have had a witness the drugs and everything that comes with it the last few weeks, it has traumatised me seeing it all.
Today is my first visit with him, he's there for 28 days and will be doing 90 meetings in 90 days. He is focused and adamant he will stay clean but it has hit me that these 28 days for me is the easy part, it's what comes after that scares me. He will need to focus on himself meaning we won't get time for us which is long needed and been waiting years for him to slow down for.... I am worried about how things will be when he comes out.
I am also grateful he is in recovery and yesterday was his first day clean as the treatment centre medication stopped....
Xx
The relief of him being away was huge. I should never have had a witness the drugs and everything that comes with it the last few weeks, it has traumatised me seeing it all.
Today is my first visit with him, he's there for 28 days and will be doing 90 meetings in 90 days. He is focused and adamant he will stay clean but it has hit me that these 28 days for me is the easy part, it's what comes after that scares me. He will need to focus on himself meaning we won't get time for us which is long needed and been waiting years for him to slow down for.... I am worried about how things will be when he comes out.
I am also grateful he is in recovery and yesterday was his first day clean as the treatment centre medication stopped....
Xx
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lesleerose
- Posts: 1294
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2020 5:38 pm
Re: Feel broken
Dearest lacura
Addiction is the only battle you have to loose to win ..
Try very hard to keep it in the day it works but YOU must work at it … get to live meetings now is a fantastic opportunity for YOU to concentrate on YOUR own recovery….. if you can’t find a famanon meeting try Al-Anon it’s much the same …also zoom meetings online …..you will be met with open arms …. I am 25 years sober in AA and I come here for my addict daughter …At the moment for over 4 years now my life has been hell on earth but a drink or drug would not solve anything it would make it far worse …
So for the last 5 years I have been at a meeting most nights … come through cancer alone in body but not spirit … I have had the beautiful ppl on here they have been my salvation… Also a couple from AA but mostly on here ….You must take care of yourself first believe me you have to heal if you want your marriage to survive
Yours in fam-anon fellowship
Lesleerose
Addiction is the only battle you have to loose to win ..
Try very hard to keep it in the day it works but YOU must work at it … get to live meetings now is a fantastic opportunity for YOU to concentrate on YOUR own recovery….. if you can’t find a famanon meeting try Al-Anon it’s much the same …also zoom meetings online …..you will be met with open arms …. I am 25 years sober in AA and I come here for my addict daughter …At the moment for over 4 years now my life has been hell on earth but a drink or drug would not solve anything it would make it far worse …
So for the last 5 years I have been at a meeting most nights … come through cancer alone in body but not spirit … I have had the beautiful ppl on here they have been my salvation… Also a couple from AA but mostly on here ….You must take care of yourself first believe me you have to heal if you want your marriage to survive
Yours in fam-anon fellowship
Lesleerose
Re: Feel broken
I agree with Leslee Lacura. You have done your utmost. Your son has this one chance. He should welcome it with open arms. Now concentrate on yourself and your other relationships. Tough advice, but you have to let him get on with it.
Nothing which you do will either help or hinder him. It's entirely within his control. P.
Nothing which you do will either help or hinder him. It's entirely within his control. P.