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[lesleerose]

Hi again Shering
You can only deal with one thing at a time and your son takes priority here … His actions tells me he is using his behaviour borrowing money all the excuses lies plus the divorce …all points to addiction.. denial is one of the main symptoms of addiction on both sides … he will continue down this road to hell and please believe me you don’t want to go there you will loose everything including your sanity …
I fear for your granddaughter if your son is under the influence… he could harm them both or someone else … he is breaking the law and it is all so very dangerous…( whether he is driving or not )
I would tell your son he has no longer to take the little girl to school… he has a choice to make it’s either the drugs or his family including you … my addict daughter has destroyed my small family… they let go before me because as a mother I found it terribly difficult but eventually I had to .. my girl is still using I don’t want her in my life any longer she has made her choice drugs …I haven’t seen her in over 2 years now …
As I said contact admin for information this is a dreadful situation for you and it will affect your health badly
Time to take care of number one …
It’s not your fault
Lesleerose

[JayC]

Hi sharing
Just read your story and I am sending you virtual hugs and strength xx
My son is the same he always needs money and it’s always 20, 40 etc. I often point out how it’s amazing that no matter the reason it’s always the same amount.
Now when he asks I say no and when he goes on and on I offer to drive over to where he lives and pay by credit card whatever bill it is, or if it’s electric or gas or something for rent I ask him to send the details and I will call up and pay by credit card or the newest one was that he was being moved away but he needed money to get to his new room so I called him and told him I had arranged the afternoon off (I hadn’t as I knew he was lying) and I would drive him. On all occasions there is then a reason why my offers don’t work. It’s because he just wants money.
Reading your story. I don’t know what your son is doing like you but from what you say I can confirm he is definitely doing something but sounds like drugs to me x
All I can tell you is go with your gut instinct and trust it. Your life with your husband is more important as no matter what happens to you your son will find away to do WHST he wants and you will be left stressed and penniless.
Please please do listen to everyone on here as we are all going through it and can honestly say we know exactly how you feel xx lots of love and strength
JayC xx

[Sheringham74]

Thank you so much Jay for your very kind thoughts - sending you back hugs too! Everyone advises to let my son get to the bottom of the barrel and not to help and that’s what we’re desperately trying to do. We’ve blocked his WhatsApp and his emails and tge emails now go straight in the bin. Unfortunately it doesn’t stop me taking a peek and this morning 3 messages already asking for money for food and bills and saying he’s desperate. I’m not responding but it still takes a heavy toll on me. I’m feeling he’s already right at the bottom of this barrel but when will he take the action needed to sort this mess out? In other words how much worse can this get! Thank you so much for your support on this forum - it’s so appreciated xx

[lesleerose]

Dearest shering
Don’t peak because you know you are not going to come away from that message happy delete straight away ..
You got to be strong your weakness will be your strength…
Time to get those big girl pants on and let him go completely…
If this continues call the police for harassment
Please take care of yourself you are now talking to the drugs not your son … only he can help himself and you have been enabling him … well no more time to get a backbone instead of a wishbone because you know your worth it …
This is not your fault we are all in this together…
If I was to tell you … your story what would you tell me to do
Bless you in fam anon fellowship
Lesleerose

[JayC]

Hi Sharing
Just wanted to check in with you and send strength x
I read your last post and I know what mean about checking for emails I do the same and I can confirm that it’s true it only leaves you more stressed so I now don’t.
In relation to your son needing food please don’t worry about him starving as this is not the case.
1) there are lots of places that provide breakfast for people who are homeless or penniless and there are soup kitchens and food banks. If he is truly needing food he can get it
2) most people on any form of drug or alcohol addiction don’t actually eat they chose the addiction over food anyway
I know the above to be true through my son and my step daughter xx
Lots of love JayC xx