Death by Duvet

[lesleerose]

For some reason I am very depressed at the moment … I have being death by duvet and although a little unwell nothing to merit this …
I feel so helpless hopeless not sure why as some situations are getting better …
Haven’t heard from either 3 girls 2 daughter 1 an addict and the other well not sure but she displays signs of narcissistic behaviour.. and my older granddaughter who is 30 seems to be stuck in a time warp …
Either way I am ghosted completely not sure which is better to be tormented with the addiction or the ghosting …
I have a lovely cousin we were out for lunch a couple of days ago .. my mood goes up and down and there is something important happening next week it could go either way …
Life has been very hard for me these last 4 years torture relentless am tired fighting for what’s right … I have a very judicious mind can’t turn that off …I know normality is a program on a washing machine …
Maybe just down in the dumps … I honestly don’t know how I would cope without the stresses of life it’s been so long … many many years but am here alive 65 getting older probably non the wiser and for some reason I feel like a failure … I feel very old and been battered down emotionally for a very long time but I just keep going but not today
Does anyone else feel like this ?
Ty yours in famanon fellowship
Lesleerose

[LM66]

Oh for sure Lesleerose. I think we all have days like that. Days when I can't even be bothered speaking.
I think we are allowed to have dsys, just to feel what we feel. The important thing is, that we don't live there. We get up, dust ourselves off, and keep going.
It's probably your important event making your nerves jangle, as my granny used to say. It will pass. Shitty days always pass.
It's tiring being strong all the time, so let yourself have this moment.
Much Love
L x

[Poetry]

Leslee I have contacted you privately with some specific points about this post, but to sum up, I entirely agree with LM. There are days, and particularly nights (I have ME and suffer with very severe insomnia), when it has actually crossed my mind but I wouldn't particularly mind if I wasn't here very much longer, but those thoughts are fleeting.

Something happens, like the putting on of the kettle and the making of a lovely cup of tea in a china cup, or a passage in a book which I'm reading which affects me, and I realise that my zest for life, my commitment to life, is always going to outweigh the terrible times.

We all have them.

There are days when I feel so physically ill, engulfed with the depression which comes with physical illness, when the only goal I set myself is to be as even tempered as I can in the house, with husband.

But these times do not last.

We have to put in five minutes, fifteen minutes, an hour, a day, and wait for it to change. What I think you possibly can do is to banish those thoughts which you have about how your family has let you down as much as they have, and maybe every time a thought like that comes into your mind, put your favourite piece of music on.

Your challenging event next week of course is weighing on your mind, but just go through that very calmly, and remember that our main enemy is fear. P. Xx

[ANAID777]

Dear Lesleerose,

You know duvet days not so bad when absolutely necessary sometimes I think it is enough one day, one minute , one foot , at a time .. life can feel so very unfair on one day , on others can feel a privilege… as you , I and many of us here know all too well… so as I think you might say, don’t be too hard on yourself, if you feel low.. you feel low and this is ok and perfectly understandable.. we also know it will pass.. my for next week and I hope all goes as well as it possibly can thinking of you, big hugs and my

Love Anaid xxx

[lesleerose]

Thank you all
This has been going on for years hopefully next week I will get some closure … everything passes and your own pain is the worst
Thank you to all the wonderful ppl on this forum and admin for keeping me sane because it’s not my fault
Bless you all in famanon fellowship
Lesleerose
I am no longer alone
Xxx

[Butterfly1234]

So sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. I agree with the others, have that duvet day! Have 2 or 3 if you need them just don’t live there. You are a strong lady and your words and strength have helped to pull me through some of my toughest times. You’ve got this take good care of yourself

[Tired]

No rules Lesrose

It can be so overwhelming down days, but I know this much.

You have been a massive support to me and many others in this forum for years.

You are well thought of for sure.

Xxxx

[Concernedmum]

Hi there,

I agree with the others..have a duvet day, we all need them sometimes. Sorry to hear you are feeling so low, but hopefully a good rest and the passage of time will make you feel better.

You are such a tower of strength on this forum, and I know what a difference your kinds words and honesty have made to me. You always have a supportive word for all of us on this forum, and your insights are invaluable. You have achieved so much in your personal journey and you share your knowledge and experiences so freely. It really helps to hear about all of this from your pain of being a mother to an addict and your personal battles with alcohol. You have overcome so much and should be really really proud. Not many people are willing to share so much pain with strangers, but you share so freely and honestly, and that really helps.

Today is a new day. The sun is shining in my part of the country, and I hope it is shining down on you too. Take a big breath and put one foot in front of the other. Know that you are loved, valued and respected by us and we need you here. This forum in a healing place because of you.

Love CM x

[2splendourangel]

Dear LesleeRose, I hope you are feeling better today and the depression is easing. I am trying this new laptop of mine once more as it has a mind of it's own and often when I have done a message and post submit the message just disappears somewhere. I sat and wrote a post to you late last night and just as ever it was gone. It is most frustrating to say the least. I will say the same as the others on here and let you know you are one lady that is always honest supportive and can always lift the spirit of others You have vast experience and know how others feel when going through the heartbreak with their addict. We can all become overwhelmed at times and need that duvet day but those feelings will pass and the sun will shine again. I always look for your posts as I feel a certain connection to you with us both having two daughters and those two daughters have caused us pain and hurt something that we should not have had to deal with but it is only from you and the good people on here that I have found strength to keep on going and although my family life no longer resembles what it once was then so be it and I know it sounds silly but if that is what my higher divine spirit sees fit for me then I accept and embrace it knowing one day I will only answer to my Maker above and find my perfect peace. So take the rest you need to find that strength again and I hope you will not mind me wishing you a peaceful joyous Easter break you will be in my prayers. A Happy Easter to All as well and even if non believers are reading happiness and blessings. Regards 2Splendourangel